The Final Decision

I had originally planned on writing about a different topic this week, but since this particular topic has come at me twice this week I felt compelled to share. Most pet owners love their pets as if they were one of their own kids, and in a sense they are. We bring them into our homes and promise to love and cherish them the same as any other member of our family. We train them, feed them, take them in for medical checkups, and make sure they get the appropriate amount of play time and love. In return, they love us unconditionally forever. When we arrive home after an outing they often can’t contain their enthusiasm to see us. When we’re sad, they see our tears and curl up to comfort our pain. When we’re happy, they share in our joy. They may be a part of our world, but to them, we are their everything! I believe that’s why it’s so terribly heartbreaking when it’s time to say our final goodbyes.

Those final days are typically filled with regret, remorse, and inevitably heartbreak. There’s really no winning scenario in the end. Do you watch in agony as your loved one suffers or do you cut short what little life they have left to spare them the pain? It’s not like you can ask them what they want, so as their parent you have to guess. You look in their eyes and see if they are still holding on or if they’re letting go. You see your other pets reacting. Are they caring for the elder one or have they resigned to saying their goodbyes as well. Have they lost all joy from their lives or do they still interact and play? My neighbor had to say goodbye to her boxer this week. We spend a lot of time playing with her dogs and up until this past week he always managed to spring to life when he would see or hear my kids playing outside. He would run out the door wagging his little nubby tail and playfully bouncing at my son. We all knew it was time when he could barely muster up the energy to go outside at all. His interactions with the kids changed from a bouncy puppy like demeanor to a gentle snuggly, and sometimes even mopey, one. He would only drink when my kids drank from the hose with him and only ate when he was hand fed by my neighbor. It became clear that he was in a tremendous amount of pain, but was only holding on for the people who loved him. He had lost so much weight that he began to look like one of those dogs you see in those animal neglect ad campaigns. Every day he was looking slimmer and sicker, but he just wouldn’t let go on his own. When they brought him into the vet she reassured him everything was going to be alright, wrapped her arms around his neck, and held on until he slid out of her grip. As the vet began administering the medicine, the dog’s expression went from a look of nervousness to one of relief. His last moments were probably the first time he felt completely pain free and possibly even a little euphoric in weeks. A boxer’s typical life expectancy is only 8-9 years. This dog was 15 years old. He had a benign mast cell tumor for the last 6 years. It was inoperable, so when he was diagnosed my neighbor was given the option to put him down at that time. She chose to let him live. The tumor grew to an enormous size, but never seemed to bother him. A mast cell tumor grows primarily in the connective tissue so despite the size it’s really no different than if you suddenly grew an extra appendage. It does however continue to grow and can press against their organs and such.

We knew the end was rapidly approaching and tried to make the most of what little time he had left. We made every playdate count and took plenty of pictures. My son said his goodbyes that morning. As soon as he got home he grabbed crayons and paper to make a card. I could see he was fighting back his tears. In fact, I had seen him trying to hide his tears all week, but that morning, we hugged and cried together. Sometimes strength isn’t in the ability to hold back your tears, but rather to let them out.

My sister had to make the same decision with her cat this week. He has been ill for quite some time now (over a year). This past Sunday they took on the heavy burden of having to send him peacefully into an eternal slumber. He had been sleeping a lot (even for a cat). He would only wake up to eat before going right back to sleep. He was going to the bathroom and throwing up all over the house. He was having such a hard time keeping food down that he lost more than 6 pounds in a matter of months. (That’s a lot for a cat). There was also excessive hair loss, high white blood cell count, and the list goes on. When they had finally made the decision that it was time to let go, my sister was so overwhelmed with guilt that she was having dreams about it. One dream would make her feel guilty for the decision to put him to sleep, but then the next would make her feel guilty for trying to hang on longer than she should. As I said before, when it comes to those final days there’s never a winning scenario. No matter what you chose, you’re bound to question your decision and then feel guilt after the fact.

My sister’s experience was very different from my neighbor’s experience. They decided it would be best to give the cat his space. I think it was just too hard to see him in so much pain. And with a cat, it’s easier for them to hide and distance themselves. After the fact, they wished they could have brought him more joy in those last days. Then again, don’t we always wish that for our pets? When they took him in, they weren’t allowed to go in for the procedure. She said the technician transferred him to a rusty old cage which only exacerbated the weight of the decision. Euthanasia is never a decision you want to make, but when it comes down to it, you don’t want to see your loved one carted off in a janky old cage like prisoner being “escorted” to a concentration camp. You want to be there to reassure them that you love them and only want what’s best for them.

This past week has been an emotional one to say the least. Even though our dog is just as spry and crazy as ever, you grow attached to the other pets in your life as well. I’m happy to know that those pets will no longer suffer. I know they were both well cared for right up until their last breath. That’s all we can do for anyone we love, weather family, friend, or pet.

#FamilyToGO #Euthanasia #Pets #goodbye